Point of No Return
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Breaking Point excerpt
I walked downstairs to find Kira cleaning up and putting things away. He wouldn’t look at me. “You sleep okay?”
I nodded. “Yeah. You?”
He didn’t answer. “We need to head back this morning,” he said instead. “I have to work tonight.”
“Okay,” I said, turning around. “I’ll just go pack my things.”
“You can have some breakfast first,” he said. He looked at me then. “Your eye looks better.”
I shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. I haven’t seen it.”
“You haven’t looked at it, at all?”
I shook my head. “No.” I scratched my not-sore cheek through the four-day grown stubble. “I haven’t been game enough to shave, so I haven’t looked at myself…” I let my words trail off because I knew how pathetic I sounded.
I suddenly wasn’t very hungry. “I’ll just grab a shower.”
I’d no sooner walked into the bathroom when Kira was behind me. He surprised me. “What are you doing?”
He put his hands on my shoulders and turned me around in the small bathroom so I faced the mirror. “Look at yourself.”
I kept my eyes down. “Kira,” I started.
“Look at yourself,” he said again, interrupting me. “Why won’t you look at yourself?”
Because I don’t like what I see.
Because I don’t know the man staring back at me.
I shrugged, still unable to look at my reflection.
He stood behind me and made me look up. I looked at his reflection first, his beautiful, sad and resigned eyes, and couldn’t bear to see the pain in them. It was easier to look at me.
My hair was a dirty mess, my face unshaven, and the left side of my face from my cheek to my temple was dark purple. I had a cut above my eyebrow and dark red grazing beside my eye. My nose was swollen and cut along the bridge, with dark purple bruising from my nose down under my right eye. My left eyeball was bloodshot, the whole area was still swollen and the skin stretched tight.
I looked like fucking hell.
Kira just stood there, behind me, watching me. He didn’t need to say anything. It was written all over his face.
I exhaled a shaky breath, blinking back tears. I looked at him and nodded.
I was a mess.
Kira turned me around, and I was expecting him to tell me I was a disgrace and that I’d ruined everything. But he didn’t. He leaned me against the bathroom counter, and turned the tap on with hot water to fill the sink.
He took the shaving cream and spread it over my stubble, then with a love that almost broke my heart, he started to shave me.
Without a word, he turned my face, lifted my chin and with such care and a gentle hand, he ran the blade over my skin. He concentrated on his task at hand, studying me, and taking the most gentle care with the left side of my face. There was nothing but love in his eyes, in his touch.
I fought tears the entire time.
He tapped the razor on the side of the sink one last time and pulled the plug. “All done,” he said softly. “Have a shower. I’ll start packing.”
I nodded again, and by the time I could finally say “Thank you”, he was gone.
* * * *
Matt Elliott -
Breaking Point excerpt and buy links!
Excerpt
(As seen on Totally Bound site HERE <– click on the link)
It was a usual Friday night at the bar. Except it wasn’t.
My partners Mitch, Kurt and Tony were there with me. My boyfriend Kira was there too, along with my boss, Berkman, and most of the guys from my division. There were celebratory drinks, a tab on the bar and congratulations all round.
I should have been happy. And part of me was. But part of me wasn’t. The smile on my face and laughs with the boys didn’t quite sit right, but the more I had to drink, the easier it got.
“Here it is!” someone called out. “Turn it up!”The attention in the bar was drawn to the TV as the barman turned up the volume.
“…in this breaking story, after almost eleven years, Detective Matthew Elliott has announced his resignation from the LAPD…”
There were cheers and applause from around the bar, a few claps on my shoulder. Kira squeezed my thigh under the table. I smiled and lifted my beer in a salute before taking another swig.
I hated press conferences. I had a healthy distaste for the media and the paparazzi and I hated having to put my life on display for the public. Yet there I stood in front of a dozen cameras and even more reporters about to give the biggest announcement of my career.
It was ironic that the biggest would be my last.
I was on screen announcing to the good people, and the not-so good people, of LA that I was no longer a detective. I was no longer a part of the Fab Four. I was no longer a cop.
The questions started and I heard myself reel off the well-rehearsed answers on the TV. I’d given dozens of press conferences over my time with the LAPD narcotics division, and I’d never dreamed I’d be standing there announcing to the world that I was walking away from all I’d ever known.
Yet there I was, doing exactly that.
The questions on screen continued.
“Can you tell us why? Why are you retiring, Detective Elliott?” one reporter asked.
“Does this have anything to do with being outed as a gay cop last year?”
“Where does this leave the Fab Four? Do you have a replacement?”
“Are you planning a career in politics?”
I laughed at that, on screen and at the table in the bar. Mitch, who was sitting across from me, laughed as well. “No plans for running for Governor? Come on,” Mitch joked. “You’d make a good politician.”
I finished the last mouthful of my beer and pointed my empty bottle at him. Instead of telling him to get fucked, I said, “My turn to buy. ’Nother beer?”
“Hell yes, if you’re payin’,” he slurred.
I turned to Kira and leaned in towards him and asked, “Drink, baby?” He shook his head at me. I must be drunk if I’d called him ‘baby’ in front of the boys. Fuck.
“Nah, I’m fine,” he said. “Someone has to make sure you lot get home okay.”
“’M sorry,” I said, trying to apologise. “S’been a big day.”
Kira smiled sadly. “I know it has.”
I nodded, and stood up off my stool. I swayed as I made my way to the bar. I was drunk. It had been an emotional day, after an emotionally charged few weeks since I’d announced that I was leaving.
It hadn’t been easy. It had been one of the hardest decisions I’d ever made, but it was the right decision. My partners at work, Mitch, Kurt and Tony, were surprisingly okay with it. My boss had warned me against it, but ultimately agreed it was the right thing, but Kira…Kira didn’t like the idea at all.
He didn’t understand why I was leaving the department. No matter what reason I gave him, he didn’t believe me. He knew I loved my job, it was a part of who I was, he’d said.
And it had been a bone of contention between us since.
It wasn’t that he wasn’t being supportive. He just didn’t understand. I told him it was a decision I’d toyed with over the last twelve months, since he was abducted and tortured, beaten, held hostage because of me. And that wasn’t a lie. It just wasn’t the whole truth.
The whole truth was something I couldn’t tell him.
Kira knew there was something else to it. Of course he did. We’d been living together for almost twelve months, he knew me. And I’d never lied to him before. I’d never had to. And he knew I wasn’t telling him something.
He’d get quiet whenever I talked about leaving, waiting for me to explain the truth, but I never did. The night I told him I’d handed in my resignation was our first real fight. He yelled, and I yelled back, and he threw a glass into the sink and I slammed some doors.
We hadn’t spoken for two days afterwards.
It had damn near killed me.
A hard thump on my arm and a large hand on my shoulder snapped me out of my memories. My boss, my ex-boss, Berkman stood beside me and threw some twenties on the bar. “Whatever this man wants,” he told the barman.
I ordered some shots of bourbon under the watchful eye of the man who’d been like a father to me. I looked at him and gave him the best confident smile I could fake.
“You sure about this?” he asked quietly.
I nodded. “Yeah…”
The older man’s jaw bulged and he exhaled through his nose. “But?”
I looked back to where Kira was sitting with Mitch and the others. “I’ve never lied to him,” I said, suddenly feeling every drink I’d had.
Berkman nodded. “It won’t be easy.”
“Mmm,” I agreed, swaying where I stood. I didn’t want to talk about it. Not here, anyway. Not that Berkman would have said anything. “Need another drink,” I mumbled, picking up a fresh shot of liquor. I threw back the bourbon and when I put the glass back down, the bar wasn’t as close as I thought. Berkman put his hands on me, I realised, to steady me. Fuck, I was drunk.
“I’ll carry these to the table,” Berkman said, indicating to the drinks on the bar. Then he faced me in the direction of where Kira and Mitch were sitting. “You go that way.”
The bar was loud and busy and as I crossed the floor, I bumped into familiar faces with pats on the back and rounds of good luck and best wishes. Berkman beat me back to the table with my drinks, and when I finally got there, everyone was smiling at me.
I slid my arm around Kira’s shoulder and he manoeuvred me onto my stool and handed me a drink. I held up the single shot, and Mitch, Kurt, Tony and Berkman all raised theirs. Kira held up his soda and they all bumped their glasses against mine.
“To Matt,” Berkman declared. “To the future and wherever it may take you. We wish you well.”
“Cheers!”You can buy BREAKING POINT from Totally Bound from October 25th, and from Amazon and ARe from November 22nd.
The link to pre-purchase is https://www.totallybound.com/breaking-point and you can check out Totally Bound’s new site!!
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Breaking Point, expectations and the opposite of fluff
Are you ready?
In less than two weeks, Breaking Point will be available for pre-release purchase from the TEB site. Which means you can buy it there, to read immediately, four weeks before it becomes available on other sites like Amazon.
Yes, I’ve had a few releases. The nerves and anxiety do get a little easier with each one, but I doubt the trepidation of putting myself out there will ever fade completely. To be honest, I don’t want it to.
But this one is different.
I’ve NEVER been this nervous about a release.
Will it be good enough? Will I do Point of No Return justice by continuing the story? Will people forgive me for the direction I take it?
In my opinion, Breaking Point is the angstiest (like my new word?) thing I’ve written to date. It’s also the most violent and grittiest, and not like my usual fluff and sunshine. At all.
Breaking Point is based on the sport of Mixed Martial Arts (MMA, or cage fighting) so yes, it’s violent.
The violence of MMA Adding that Matt, the main character, has masochist tendencies and is in a dark place, it’s not a particularly easy read.
Matt Elliott I know that most readers expect a certain style from me, and that’s fine. It’s great, even. A reader knows, more often than not when they read something of mine, it’ll be romance (sickly sweet sometimes lol) and there’s a comfort in that, for a reader, knowing there will be fluff and rainbows. That’s why I’m a little nervous, or a lot nervous, that people might not like Breaking Point because it’s so removed from my usual thing. I guess I just want to warn people before release day that if you want warm and fluffy, this isn’t it.
That being said, I also think it’s one of the best things I’ve written.
It’s also possible this nervousness is completely unwarranted and people think my idea of angst is crap. LOL Granted, I don’t read a lot of angst, so I have little to gauge by, but it’s one of the toughest things I’ve written.
Anyway, the book has gone through it’s final editing stages, so even if I wanted to change something, I couldn’t. And I wouldn’t. I love this book, and am extremely proud of it.
I guess I’ll leave it to the general public to read, review and judge accordingly. I’ll just leave some story inspiration pictures and hope for the best.
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Point of No Return
Point of No Return has been re-released!!
I’m so excited about this. It was the first book I ever submitted for publication (not my first release; Taxes and TARDIS was an anthology release and beat it to the table). To say I was devastated when it was taken down would be an understatement…
But Total E-Bound took it on, and it lives again!!
Here is the new cover…
I’ve added about 9K to the story – a few extra scenes, but mostly adding depth to conversations, editing and fixing a few things I’d wish I’d done the first time around. Essentially the story remains the same.
You can buy it now from the TEB site HERE It will hit other sites like Amazon in about four weeks 🙂
The sequel, Breaking Point, is due out late October and I’m currently working on the third and final book, titled Starting Point. Matt and Kira have been a huge part of my life. I adore them. I hope you do too.
My character inspiration pics, just to remind you are:
Matt –
Kira – the most gorgeous Marlon Tiexeira *sigh*
The cabin at Wrightwood:
You can actually rent this gorgeous cabin, in Wrightwood, where these boys go. Site is HERE
The plane hangar:
And then there’s this…
I hope you love these boys as much as I do. I love Kira – his strength, his heart and his ability to love. I’d love to know what you guys think…
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Point of No Return Excerpt
Excerpt (as on the Silver Publishing site)
The four of us hit the gym like we always did after a stressful day and were met by a round of applause from the other cops who were there working out. One of the TV screens was showing the five o’clock news, and they were watching the four of us standing outside the West Street headquarters.A reporter introduced the story. “Breaking another link in one of LA’s biggest drug chains, ex-Croat Pavao Tomic was taken down in what can only be described as a failed drug heist.”
I waved them off, heading straight for the treadmills. I didn’t need to watch it.
I was there.
“Detective Elliott, it must be a relief after weeks of hard work to finally have this notorious drug supplier in custody.”
“Yes, it is,” I heard myself answer diplomatically on-screen. “The streets of LA are safer. The people of LA are better off with Tomic behind bars.”
What I couldn’t say on air was that the slimeball deserved everything he got. With no regard for human life, with no regard for the expenditure or destruction of life in his wake, types like Pavao Tomic were best left to rot in jail.
Instead, all suited up out in front of HQ, the television version of me went on to say it wasn’t just my doing, like the press insinuates, but a team effort. I didn’t outrank the other three men on my team. I didn’t do anything they didn’t do, but that’s not how the media portrayed it.
To them, I was the leader of the media-dubbed “Fab Four”–four detectives in the Narcotics Division who had broken crime rings right across the city. My partner, Detective Mitch Seaton, and Detective partners Kurt Webber and Tony Milic made up the team of four who had seen a record number of criminals put behind bars.
“Yeah,” Mitch snorted from the treadmill beside me. “The one-man show here did it all on his own.”
I rolled my eyes before looking over at the other guys. “Any time any of you three idiots want to speak up when the cameras start rolling, be my guest.”
Kurt laughed. “No freakin’ way! I’d rather your ugly mug be all over the news than mine.”
“The general public would too,” Mitch joked. He reached over and tapped the side of my face. “This pretty-boy makes all us cops look good.”
Tony laughed at me, and the three of them started talking crap just like the media did. But they gave up trying to goad me when they realized I wasn’t going to bite. I tuned them out and focused on the rhythm of my feet hitting the treadmill instead.
They’d settled in to running it out on the treadmills with me when Kurt told us he couldn’t stay long because his girlfriend, Rachel, had dinner plans. “Workout first, then we hit the bar, just for a few. It’s been a helluva week.”
And so it had.
We’d spent months watching Tomic, waiting for the intel to pay off, nabbing him red-handed in a multi-million-dollar drug bust.
It paid off today. No one injured, no casualties, several million dollars’ worth of cocaine, ice, and meth off the streets, and one more link in the crime chain behind bars.
So we did what we always did. The four of us hit the gym, then later we hit the bar. They didn’t usually drink much when we went, and I drank even less, but we’d blow off steam in the gym then unwind in the bar, just talking crap and having a laugh. It was a cops’ gym and a cops’ bar.
I’d been a cop for ten of my twenty-eight years. Police work was all I knew. The guys I worked with were like my family, like brothers. I knew almost everything about them, as they did with me.
Almost everything.
There was one part of my life they knew nothing about.
When the other guys commented on me being the blond-haired, blue-eyed playboy of the police force, the one all the ladies wanted, I was reminded of exactly what it was they didn’t know about me.
Because it wasn’t the ladies I wanted at all.
That’s what they didn’t know about me. That’s what I kept secret. Hidden. Private.
Would the guys I worked with treat me differently if they knew I was gay? Maybe… probably…
I wasn’t ashamed. I wasn’t scared. I didn’t flaunt being gay because I didn’t want it to precede me. I wanted to be known for being a good cop, not a gay cop.
But above all, I kept my sexuality to myself because it was no one else’s goddamn business.
After twenty minutes on the treadmill, I jumped off, ready for my bag workout. Boxing was my thing. The gym had a sparring room–no ring, just mats and pads. It was mostly there as a form of fitness, and a little self-defense. The other guys on my team didn’t bother with it. They’d watch me spar sometimes, and they’d tease and taunt me, but not one of them had the balls to spar with me.
I headed into the boxing room, and Chris, the owner of the gym, followed me. “Hey, Matt!” he called from the door. “There’ll be a new trainer taking your session today.”
“No worries,” I replied. “Is Vinnie okay?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Chris nodded. “Just a change in his timetable, that’s all.” He looked over my shoulder and called some guy over. “Frankie, this here is Matthew Elliott. He’s your five-thirty appointment. Matt, this is Frankie.”
I looked at him then, my new boxing trainer. And I got stuck.
Jesus fucking Christ.
I did a double take, trying not to give myself away.
But he was fucking beautiful.
He had dark hair, dark skin, dark eyes. He was European, or Asian. Or both.
He smiled. Oh, fuck. His smile.
“Frankie’s real name I can’t pronounce,” Chris went on to say with a laugh. “But he knows I’m an ex-cop and not overly bright, so he forgives me.”
This Frankie guy extended his hand and introduced himself formally. “Kira Takeo Franco.” I couldn’t detect an accent, but his name rolled exotically off his tongue. I shook his hand, and our eyes met. It was like I couldn’t look away. His stare deepened for just a second and his eyes flashed, as though he could tell I found him attractive. Then he smiled and said, “You’re the guy on TV.”
“The one and the same,” Chris said with a laugh. “Anyway,” he continued to me, with a smile, “I’ve seen Frankie in action and thought I’d come in and watch how he does with our best student.”
Then the door behind me swung open, and Mitch, Kurt, and Tony walked in.
I looked at my team standing in the door, all smiling, then back to Chris. “And what are they here for?”
Chris answered hesitantly. “Well, Frankie’s pretty good. I might have told them it could be… entertaining…”
I looked at the three smiling cops, my so-called partners. “And you guys have come in to watch me get my ass kicked?”
They nodded and laughed, and Mitch defended me… well, kind of. “I got twenty on ya,” he said. He threw his thumb back at Kurt and Tony. “These two aren’t so confident.”
I rolled my eyes and smiled at them, then started strapping my hands. When I turned around and saw my sparring partner, I almost lost my breath. He was stretching out; his broad shoulders were barely concealed by his singlet top, revealing well-defined muscles and beautiful, olive skin. My dick twitched.
Goddamn it.
A hard-on in front of my team was the last thing I needed.
I faced the wall, bounced on my toes, and shook it out, wishing like hell my old trainer, the very not-attractive Vinnie, was still my sparring partner.
“Okay, we’ll start on the bag,” Frankie told me.
He held the punching bag still while I practiced jabs and sequences, and he grinned. His dark eyes were bright and smiling as he held the bag steady. Even though I knew he was staring straight at me, I deliberately didn’t look at him, and kept my eyes on the bag instead.
But then he called time and picked up hand pads. He stood ready, his covered hands up between us, waiting for me to aim practice jabs into the pads. And in front of our audience, we went through the motions. I jabbed, he deflected.
But he smiled as though he was daring me.
It was as though his full lips, his almond-shaped eyes, that shiny black hair, and the dimple in his left cheek were goading me.
Luring me.
And my dick twitched again.
Fuck.
****
Point of No Return is released on the 18th August – just four days away!! -
Point of No Return Cover
I’m really excited to share with you, the amazing cover for Point of No Return, done by the even more amazing Reese Dante.
The image of Matt is spot on, and even Kira strapping his hands before a boxing workout, is just perfect.
I’ve waited a really long time for this. I think it’s something all writers’ aspire to. It’s so exciting, and equally humbling, to finally have my first original cover art.
Point of No Return is scheduled for release on August 18th, with Silver Publishing. And I just can’t wait… -
Point of No Return
IT’S OFFICIAL!
Point of No Return is being published!
It’s all still early days. But I’ve signed contracts and have a targeted release date of 18 August 2012.
I’m really excited about this novel. I can’t wait for you to meet Matt and Kira. I adore those boys.
As a reminder, here’s Matt
And here’s Kira
And a little picture prompt
I’ll post more as I know more, but had to share my good news. 🙂
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